


I Exist As I Am

by Boldlynyooming (arka_r)



Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Ex-Borg Elnor, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romulans, The Borg, Vashti was assimilated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23277232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arka_r/pseuds/Boldlynyooming
Summary: What if the Artifact, before it collapsed, managed to assimilate Vashti? What if Elnor was a young xB, working under Hugh, who mentored him and helped him regain his individuality?Rating may go up.
Relationships: Elnor/Hugh | Third of Five
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	I Exist As I Am

**Author's Note:**

> another AU arka???? seriously??? i know, i know i'm supposed to finish my other WIPs. but this is partially [lizardkid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizardkid/pseuds/lizardkid)'s fault for making me watch 'i, borg'. this idea refused to leave me alone, so naturally i just HAD TO write it >:c
> 
> unbetaed, so if you want to beta it, hit me up!

The first thing they felt was the sensation of waking up slowly from what felt like a long, long sleep. Immediately, they knew who they were, where they were, what they were.

They… were Borg.

They could feel that the biological organs inside him were working as intended, their heart beating in their stomach, their lungs expanding and contracting with every breath they took. But they couldn’t feel the mechanical parts that were supposed to exist. 

Nor could they hear the voice of the Collective inside their head. They were supposed to guide their actions, but they found that they could not hear it now.

They were Borg.

And they were alone.

—

“Hello there. How do you feel?” they could hear the voice of a man who was singular talk.

“You are Third of Five”, they could hear themselves reply. Their voice didn’t echo with the voice of the collective like they expected to.

“I am. I was”, Third of Five said. “And you are a Romulan.”

“This Romulan has been assimilated”, they could hear themselves say. “Although it has been a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Third of Five asked.

“This Romulan did not contribute anything to the collective. They were still too young and they possessed no significant knowledge”, they could hear themselves say. “Their fellow Romulans were no different. We believe that we have made an error in judgement.”

“Hm”, Third of Five hummed. “That’s an interesting view. And after that, this cube went into submatrix collapse, correct?”

“That is correct”, they could hear themselves say.

“And now you are free”, Third of Five said.

They could feel their head tilt. “Free…?”

“Yes, free”, Third of Five said. “You are not assimilated anymore.”

They could not understand.

“We are not assimilated anymore?” they could hear themselves ask.

“That is correct”, Third of Five said.

“But…” They could not understand this. “That is… not possible.”

“It is very much possible”, Third of Five said. “You are here, aren’t you? You are here, and you are your own person.”

They could not understand. How was this even possible? The Borg was a collective. The Borg was not a singular individual. The Borg was not their own person.

And they were Borg… right?

“Are you free too?” they asked Third of Five.

“I am. I have been freed from the Collective years ago”, Third of Five said.

The answer confused them even further.

“I see you’re still struggling to accept this”, Third of Five said. “It’s alright, take as long as you need. In the meantime, I welcome you to the Borg Reclamation Project.”

With that, Third of Five moved to the next table, where another drone lay awake.

An individual in white clothing entered the room, and they applied dermal regenerator to their skin. They could feel their skin regenerate and it felt so, so much better. They watched in fascination as the rashes disappeared and their skin slowly turned from grey to brown.

“What is the purpose of this procedure?” they could hear themselves ask. There was a feeling that was foreign bubbling inside them.

“This is a standard procedure for newly reclaimed ex-Borg. We usually start with removing the implants and prosthesis attached to you, but since you’re fresh off the maturation chamber and haven’t had any yet, we can skip that part and start healing you”, the person answered. 

“I do not understand”, they could hear themselves say. “What do you mean with reclaimed?”

“It means you’re no longer part of the Collective”, the person answered.

They could feel themselves think about the answer. Third of Five said that they were free, but they still couldn’t understand why and how.

“Did you free us from the Collective?” they could hear themselves ask.

“We did. It’s what we do”, the person said, their lips stretching.

“Why?”

“Why… what? Why we freed you from the collective?” the person asked. They could feel themselves nod, and the person tilted their head. “Do you not want to be freed from the Collective?”

“We—” They didn’t know. “We are Borg. We are part of the Collective. What we want do not matter.”

“Well, not anymore”, the person said, turning off the dermal regenerator. “There you go. Do you want to see yourself in the mirror?”

They felt themselves at a loss of what to do. The way the question was phrased made it clear that it was not an order. This was confusing. They were confused. Yet, against all better judgement, they could feel themselves nod.

A holographic image of their reflection appeared before them and… they didn’t know what they were expecting. They were a humanoid, with brown skin, pointed ears, and hairless head. Metal bits were stuck on their unmarred face, where their implants were supposed to be. They didn’t look like the Borg in their memory was supposed to look, and they found it… unsettling.

“Is this… us?” they could hear themselves ask. They lifted their hand to touch the reflection, and it fizzled slightly at their touch.

“That’s you, yeah”, the person said.

They saw in their reflection, their hand lifted up and touched one of the metal bits on their face, where their eyepiece was supposed to be attached. It felt wrong to see themselves without it. 

They felt… incomplete.

Were they still Borg without their implants? They found themselves unable to answer it. There was a part of them where they wished they could have the voice of the Collective telling them what to do.

But there was only silence that seemed to stretch on forever, and they… were lost.

—

They were then showed a room and told to rest because it was ‘late’. There were several Borg drones in the room, and like themselves, the drones did not have any implants on them. They stared at them when they entered, but otherwise, they said nothing. Soon, they averted their eyes from them.

They took one of the beds and laid down on it. The bedding was soft and comfortable, and they could hear the hum of the cube. They couldn’t feel the connection that was supposed to link them to the cube. Even so, they could feel that it was dormant. 

_Like a sleeping beast_ , a stray thought entered their consciousness.

They shut their eyes and felt themselves slipping into the state of unconsciousness.

— 

They woke up confused.

It felt like they had dreamed of something, but they couldn’t remember what it was. Flashes of images were all jumbled together and it confused them. They didn’t have time to mull it over, however, when a person in grey suit walked into the room.

“You three are the new ones, aren’t you?” they asked, but it didn’t seem that they were expecting answer. “Come with me. Director Hugh wants to see you guys.”

They were led into another room, this one more spacious than their own room. Several drones were already lining up neatly and the three of them joined the line.

Third of Five stood before them and told them many things. From him, they knew that the Borg cube where they were in was renamed the Artifact, and that the Romulans had turned it into Romulan Reclamation Site. There were also Borg Artifact Research Institute and Borg Reclamation Project operating within the Artifact, which was independent by treaty. Both Romulans and non-Romulans researchers were allowed to work there.

They were then assigned to a schedule that had to be done, tasks to be fulfilled, and instructions to be followed. In the morning hours, they had to work with the researchers. This continued until midday. After that, they had to work to maintain the Artifact. Once everything was done, they would have to retire to their room with the other ex-Borg (nicknamed as xB) and rest for the day.

Seemed simple enough, a stray thought entered their consciousness.

Once Third of Five was done, he was replaced by a group of researchers in dull grey outfit. They made them scatter from their formation and told them to sit on the chairs they provided. They asked several questions, while Third of Five was observing the whole thing.

“Do you have a name?” one of the researchers asked them.

“A name?” they could hear themselves ask.

“Yes, a name. Something we can call you as”, the researcher said. “Your designation will do too.”

“We… don’t have a designation yet”, they could hear themselves say.

The researcher turned to Third of Five, who approached them.

“This is the one from the maturation chamber, isn’t he?” Third of Five asked. “Borg drones are supposed to receive their designation once they’re out of the maturation chamber, so he most likely hasn’t had any designation yet.”

“Should we give him a name, then?” the researcher asked.

“You know, I can probably find him in the files about the refugees on Vashti before the Borg attacked”, Third of Five said, before turning his gaze toward them. “You were likely just a kid back then, huh?”

There was a flash of something they couldn’t understand — a memory, perhaps, but it was not a memory from the Collective. No, instead it was a memory from somewhere old, somewhere deep buried. It was… painful.

“This unit was a juvenile when it was assimilated”, they could hear themselves say, and the flashes were getting stronger. “It was… Vashti. It was… scary.”

“Do you remember it? Do you remember what happened before you were assimilated?” Third of Five asked. 

In the flashes, they could see the streets in chaos. “It was… chaos. Borg drones assimilating people.” Resistance was futile. Vashti had fallen. “Run, Elnor. Run away.” They were running, and they heard someone saying. “Resistance… is futile.” They stopped running. “And then… dark.”

Third of Five and the researcher were staring at them. They could feel the weight of their stare upon them.

“Elnor, is that your name?” Third of Five asked.

“We… do not know”, they could hear themselves say.

“It must be absolutely terrifying”, Third of Five said quietly.

“It was… scary”, they could feel themselves say.

“Are you scared now?” Third of Five asked.

They could feel themselves lift their gaze to meet Third of Five in the eye. “Yes.”

They felt a weight on their hand and realized that Third of Five had placed his hand on theirs. It was warm. It was… comforting? Suddenly, things weren’t so scary anymore. It was confusing.

“Elnor, if that’s really your name. You’re here now”, Third of Five said. “You’re safe, and you’re no longer assimilated. You are surrounded by people, not the Collective. You’re free. You are no longer Borg. You are Elnor again.”

“Elnor”, they could hear themselves repeat the name. It was strange, foreign. Yet, somehow it felt right.

“Elnor”, they repeated the name again.

Yes, it felt right.


End file.
